More Observations on Consumer Crazy

I have two children, and I try to write 2,000 words each day. Between those two things, I don’t get out much. Seriously, it isn’t uncommon for me to leave my house only once or twice a week. On these rare occasions, I almost always find something interesting– i.e, appalling– that makes me question the future course of humanity. Today was no exception.

Michael finally caught the head cold that has been making the rounds through our family. I did what any woman with sense does when there’s a snotty man in the house; I hit the door at a run and never looked back. I texted Mom, who instantly grasped the severity of the situation and came right over to pick me up. We had a nice breakfast that didn’t take nearly long enough, so Mom mentioned going to check out the new Kirkland’s that just opened up in town. It is next to the Bed, Bath, & Beyond store, or as I call it “shit nobody needs but will inexplicably pay out the nose for.” Kirkland’s is kind of like that. I guess it’s a home decor store. If glass bottles wrapped in burlap and sealed with an ill-fitting cork count as home decor. I mean, they must, because I can think of no practical purpose for such a thing.

Or maybe it’s a furniture store. There were an awful lot of uncomfortable looking chairs and a vast assortment of tiny tables. Most of them, my daughter could destroy in minutes– and that’s without really applying herself. One such table appeared to be constructed of wire hangers and faux wood. It cost $127. I’d have better luck and more stability with an old milk crate and a piece of plywood.

My confusion over just what kind of store this was intensified when, on our way out, Mom noticed a display of glass balls. Insert needle scratching on record noise here. Okay, I understand glass balls on Christmas trees. Actually, I really don’t, but I accept that it’s done and that people claim the tradition harkens back to some Druidic culture. I have no idea if that’s true, but regardless, this was February, so the glass balls were likely not meant as Christmas decorations. At this point, I think one has to ask if the owners of Kirkland’s comprehend the use of a ball. I think most people would agree that a ball is meant to be tossed, thrown, or rolled. A glass ball, when tossed, thrown, or rolled, will break. You don’t have to be Super Grover to figure this out. So I’m going to assume these glass balls are simply meant for decoration. I should mention here that said glass balls cost $39.99 a piece. FYI, If you find yourself either in need of glass balls or a burning desire to pointlessly rid yourself of forty bucks, let me warn you against displaying the glass balls on the $127 table made of wire hangers and faux wood. Or else, buy a broom while you’re at it.

Then we went to our local Barnes and Noble, which sells cheesecakes, Legos, Easter baskets, candles, designer soaps, and oh yeah– a few books. More on that another time.

Posted in Life Between the Lines
3 comments on “More Observations on Consumer Crazy
  1. Skye says:

    You obviously aren’t on Pinterest or you’d find tons of DIY plans for making burlap-wrapped bottles and delicate tables! I keep looking at the burlap-wrapped this and burlap-wrapped that and thinking “that would be really hard to dust”. Not to mention the yarn-wrapped this and that!

    Colored glass balls in front of a window are nice, but they are a dustable. Glass balls in a bowl on a table aren’t even pretty colors in the light: they are simply a breakable bowl of dustables.

    And yeah, why did B&N start selling LEGO in the first place?!

    • Skye, you’re right, I’m not on Pinterest. I knit, but I do not craft. Mostly, I do not make useless stuff from a combination of other useless stuff, particularly not when doing so means I have more stuff around my house to take care of. The Legos in BN– I do have an answer for that one. They’re capitalizing on the success of The Lego Movie. Plus, I think the kids department is the only thing really making money for the store.

  2. Teresa says:

    Totally agree with you on all the stuff sold that is so useless and expensive!

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